yesterday and today are bad food days for some reason and my sense of smell is off the charts, everything is bothering me. I feel the tiny lump in my throat and thats how i know i will not be able to tolerate food i know it sounds rediculous but thats how i know. I think i'll be picking up some ensure later so i can make up for my lack of good eating while i feel like this. I havn't listened to the babies heartbeat since yesterday morning..thats the longest i've gone since i had my bleeding. Starting to become a lil less paranoid. This is my 5th pregnancy- i have ONE living child. Ya tend to lose your mind very easily. Although patrick and i have started looking at cribs and stuff...i still feel fraud about being pregnant i think once i get the real rounded belly and i can feel the baby moving properly and know the gender it will become more real. At least i hope cause anything after that is having the baby lol. Only time will tell, i am just very scared. I want this baby very badly and i love her/him very much already. xoxo <- to my little one.
I'll probly go have a listen here in a min. Patrick just got back from staff duty and will be sleeping all day. Gotta pay a few bills later but other and maybe a quick trip the comisary but other then that, pretty lazy day. I need to make up for lost cuddle time so i'm gunna go do that. I love my lil family :) they are the best.
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