i think i need my meds...

... i am literally miserable, i sit on the couch with a sad/mad face all day just sick with worry. I do NOT feel pregnant, i got one swore boob..and it's the right one and its not even the boob its up by the arm pit like... thats what i feel like before my period NOT when i am pregnant. I KNOW something is wrong.. i do i just know and last time "i just knew" .. ended up in a horriable miscarriage the day before my husband deployed for 12 months. I cannot even enjoy my day to day life i am so miserable and upset over this. I HATE WAITING... being military spouse i have to wait til 8-9 weeks for 1st scan (just the rules around here).. no such thing as a private scan either. Even if there was i am to early anyway.. not even 5 weeks yet. I know i should just calm down and stop worring.. but i simply cannot i am MISERABLE. My husband is upset i don't wanna be touchy feeling and gripes abotu not getting any.. and really i just don't feel like it AT ALL!! not even a little. I think what makes this soo much worse for me is i normally take anti-depressants and ant-anxiety meds.. but i no longer take them now since i found out i am pregnant. It's been just over a week since i found out so i'm sure they are well on thier way out of my system making me 50 million times more upset about everything. I just got done crying my eyes out.. i know something is wrong, i do i just know. Husband can't relate on my level.. If i do indeed lose this one.. i'll have to start ALL over again. Waiting for periods and ovulations..then the DREADED 2WW... testing everyday obsessing over that. Then this part.. i feel like a darn basket case. Maybe i do truley need my meds... i do not know. Tomarrow is thanksgiving, my husband is excited and my 3 yr old beautiful daughter will be too and i am just miserable.. just bringing everyone down. Its the holidays, and as a crazy fluke my area even got SNOW!!! and i'm "pregnant" i should be happy or at least feeling some kind of good maybe not this down. We were 23 months TTC when we got this BFP (with a deployment tossed in the middle of that).. Everyone who has a child my daughter's age has at LEAST one more by now, or is happily pregnant. My body just doesn't work like the rest, i am not that lucky... i have lost pregnancies.  My first appt is Dec 13th.. but thats JUST the paper work appt i don't even have my first scan sched.... i cannot wait that long i just can't i am losing my mind.