seriosuly!!!

WTF---

so if you read my blog you know we are in the process of closing on a house, then today we found out our duty station is getting changed. WELL GOOD THING WE HAVN'T CLOSED YET!!! -- first it was Escanaba, MI, then it was Rhinelander,WI w/ official orders THATS WHERE YOU ARE GOING kinda deal. Now Patrick just called again saying we are staying here again. WTF-- gunna make me gray Army. I know this lifestyle is supposed to be crazy but WHOLEY SHIT. Way to put me through the RINGER today. *ugh*

I think i am gunna milk out closing on the house to make sure another day like this doesn't happen cause DAMN DAMN DAMN!! i know our position in this house isn't permanent. We will end up leasing it out while we finish up our years in the military but i wanna live in it for a little while first and get to play with it. I was hoping we would retire to this house!!!

All the stress from today has me ALL swollen i can even see it in my hands... my feet are terriable but they are usually the first thing to swell. I cannot believe all this. I just need things to smooth out and be normal. Here i was thinking alll the money for all the inspections and paper work was all gunna go OUT the window and we would have to start all over again. I hope now we can just start getting our reenberment money and lick our wounds. Cause DAMN this has been stressful. I am full term in less then two weeks and still am not even close to having everything for this lil boy.

Honestly we don't even have a crib-- i can't afford to put 1,500 into a crib set right now. I could go buy a cheaper one, like i did with Emma but her crib set was just that CHEAP and it went on re-call so i'll just wait til i can get a niceer set for Logan. You get what you pay for.

Looks like the weather is gunna try to get nasty on me, which also stresses me out cause i am TERRIFIED of thunderstorms and it's been awhile since i've been in one. ESPECAILLY alone.. and the pawer just flickered. Ugh this is gunna be along night until Patrick is home. I amm gunna be SCARED!. Well i think i am gunna call him and get some courage going before the power actually does go out and the storm starts. My irrational fear is thunderstorms.. no real reason but i am TERRIFIED like hide under covers til i have an asthma attack kinda scared.