18 weeks today!!!

18 weeks today!!

My precious little one is 18 weeks today- very exciting!! Its going by fast but still a long ways to go! I REALLY think this baby is another GIRL-- i have been unsure for awhile but now its starting to really feel like girl. We "may" have girl name picked, lol, its different from the last time i said we had one picked out. I am not putting it out cause i am not 100%, patrick likes the other one a little better but agrees it doesn't really fit the rest of our names. My family we all have quiet names... and i kinda like that. Emma, Beth, and Patrick. So we kinda want one that fits. People chose names for different reasons, thats one of mine. I am really happy with the new one. I have the name (i think) and nursery all planned out in my head for a girl--  now watch it'll have the biggest 18 week ding dong they've even seen o_O .....

I know its absolutely ridiculous but the thought of having a boy really freaks me out, i mean not in a way that would make me love the baby any less. Just carrying a different sex then my own kinda makes me uncomfortable--i felt this way before i found out Emm was a girl too. Then theres the whole diaper changing thing, yeah i have NO CLUE. I know i changed my brother when he was an infant that was like nearly 13 years ago. I'm used to hoo-hoo's... then i try to think of nursery ideas and NOTHING-- i don't want a made theme. I do not wanna pay $35 for EACH damn pre-made piece to match a theme. I want to make it my own. With trying to do that with a boy just sounds so impossible. The crib furniture i like patrick won't let me get if its a boy-- he says boys don't have that kind. He also doesn't like most baby blue stuff cause he says its nt boy enough it all looks to feminine...its a INFANT boy. sheesh. Of coarse if the baby is a boy-- i will have to get over the idea of a lil pee'der being in there and changing a diaper will at some point become 2nd nature and i will find a nursery set and design i like and i will love the baby just the same. I guess its the fear of the unknown-- like the first time mommy fears you have but just of the other gender. That makes it sound less weird. Haha.

I will be OVER THE DAMN MOON either way on tuesday :) I cannot wait to see my baby, and soak it all up. I can't wait to see what the DVD looks like  i hope its really nice and i am able to rip it to my comp and re-burn it for family. Well MY side of the family anyway--Patrick's has nothing nice to say to us about this pregnancy. O'well- i'm long since done caring about it because i am SO HAPPY!! after 23 months of having it in my heart to have another baby and losing that one [Sept 10th 2009] -- words can't explain how it feels to have this one. I pray everyday that in July i bring her/him home happy and healthy :)

18 weeks and loving every moment :)